


Nightmares

by RefrainGirl



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Romance, Canon Related, Canonical Character Death, Don't copy to another site, Dreams and Nightmares, Heartache, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RefrainGirl/pseuds/RefrainGirl
Summary: Could it really be possible to connect to others via your dreams - and not just with other people, but other universes as well? That is what seems to happen in Ace and Sabo's case; and while for some it may end with reassurance, for others it will end in heartache.
Relationships: Portgas D. Ace/Sabo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39





	1. Nightmares

Ace bolted upright with a start, harsh panting on his lips and a strangely tingling sensation all over his body. His fingers clasped at the sheets, eyes unfocused as he stared ahead blankly into the walls of his bedroom. That’s right, he was in bed. Sleeping.

Then it _had_ been a dream…?

Breathing harshly, he let go of the blankets. One hand felt hurriedly at his chest, poking and prodding to make sure that he was indeed whole. He hung his head with a relieved sigh when he found everything in its usual place. Thank god for that. Who knows what he would have done if he’d discovered otherwise.

Ace placed his hand flat against his chest and stared at it, gritting his teeth in frustration. He couldn’t believe it had happened again. That horrible recurring nightmare had gripped him exactly as it had during the last few months, during the last few years in fact. Each experience left him feeling helpless, reeling in the darkness with a cold sheen of sweat coating his body. Fuck, how he resented that it was now a part of him, something he couldn’t shake, a thing as familiar to him as his own heartbeat - never mind that for a few panicked seconds, he’d thought that he was devoid of one.

God, every single part of that damn dream had felt just as real as it had the first time...

He was captured, bound by chains as he knelt awaiting his imminent death, watching while Luffy rushed to his aid at the absolute last second. Somehow in those moments he knew that he could rely on his little brother to get him out; but relying on him was something that Ace had swore he would never do. He would forever regret putting Luffy in danger if he were killed because of it. Because of him.

So he had tried to deter his brother with mean, hurtful insults that were designed to push others away. That was one thing that Ace had been skilled at since the beginning, although it was a talent that he hadn’t asked for or wanted. If he had said those words to anyone else it likely would have worked. Luffy was stubborn though, just about as bad as Ace himself in that respect, which led to him easily ignoring every jab. All he ended up doing was making the boy cling even harder to the desire to save his brother. The first leg of the rescue had been torture for him to watch, since he wasn’t able to break free to protect the one good thing left in his life. Of course, that hadn’t lasted for very long.

Ace flexed his hands, recalling how in the dream they could instantly burst into flames at a whim. No, it wasn’t that they could become wreathed in fire, per say. He actually _was_ fire or so it seemed, and an obvious side effect of that was being impervious to everything physical, including pain. Nothing could hurt him - not guns or swords. Perhaps that had emboldened him, as the battlefield had been awash in fire from the moment he was set free; but all he could remember was the immense pride he had felt towards his kid brother. He was relieved, happy that Luffy had become this strong, that he had found people to look after him when Ace couldn’t.

And more than anything else, he wanted to live. That one wish had been flowing endlessly through his veins the whole time. Luffy and all of his friends had proved that there was a need for him to be there, so Ace didn’t want to die.

He had to live.

But he had ruined everything. Someone, an enemy, had taunted him into a blinding rage that he had no control over. He had seen it coming in the back of his mind and had tried so valiantly to stay calm, to keep a hold of his sanity. He knew what would happen if he didn’t. He had seen that end so many times, and he couldn’t bear to see it again. Yet everything Ace did failed. He became so horribly angry, shouting in such a fury that he could see nothing but a haze of red before him. He attacked the man, dead set on making him eat his words, making him regret ever opening his damn mouth…

And then he got hurt. For the first time, he was hurt.

Ace grimaced as he rubbed at his arm, almost expecting to feel the severe burns that had coated his skin not moments ago. He was fire, and yet that man had burned him so easily. It had been altogether unexpected and Ace went flying backwards, his ire temporarily stunned by the shooting pain in his arm that had swung to punch. Clenching his teeth, he had laid there as Luffy screamed his name.

Mistake. He had made a colossal mistake again.

The man slowly approached him, a smug smirk on his features as he looked Ace over. Pathetically he tried to rise, and then had collapsed onto his stomach once more. He had to get up, he had to stand. The longer he laid there, the easier of a target Luffy became. Glancing back, he could see the exhaustion on his little brother’s face. The way he collapsed to his knees, reaching for something Ace couldn’t quite see, his eyes desperate.

 _Get up,_ he’d thought, not only to himself. _You have to get up!_

This enemy before them… He had no remorse on his face as he stared at the young boy. His arm bubbled with streams of magma, the molten hand curling into a fist as he grinned down at Ace. Acting like he’d won. Like his cause had beaten theirs into submission once more.

Suddenly that hadn’t mattered. Whoever won didn’t matter.

The man’s gaze turned to Luffy. His body shifted slightly, changing direction, facing away from him.

Ace’s eyes had widened, his head whipping around to stare with every ounce of fear in his soul at the prone form of Luffy. His fingers had almost reached the thing he was grabbing for, a tiny slip of paper. It fluttered in the breeze, skipping out of the way every time he thought he almost had it. He was inching forward when he should have been standing to attack, to defend.

That molten arm swung, and his heart had stopped beating.

“Luffy!”

These last few seconds always hurt worse than the whole dream combined. Ace had felt tears welling in his eyes as he did what he had to do to protect the only person he had left. Moving with superhuman speed, he darted towards his brother.

He only just made it in time to shield him with his body, putting himself between that man’s fist and the vulnerable, exposed chest that would have taken the killing blow. He gasped in agony as that searing punch tore through him, torching his insides and causing so much misery that it was a miracle he was still conscious.

He couldn’t die here, he didn’t want to die here! But he… he couldn’t let Luffy die because he was being a hotheaded idiot! This was all his fault!

He was about to break his promise…

_I’m so sorry… I let you down…_

But he stood firm. Gritting his teeth, he stood there, blood dripping from his lips, and every tense muscle in his body had pushed back to keep that fist from touching Luffy. Nobody hurt his brother. Nobody.

Strangely, the last thought that had gone through his mind then was of Sabo. That smiling face, laughing at something stupid he’d done; but this version was different than the one that Ace knew. He was Sabo, of course. But… there was something off… Just a little. Like this was a parallel part of someone he knew and loved, not the same man.

Then he had abruptly awoken, sitting there in bed feeling like his life had just crashed and burned around him.

 _It was just a dream,_ he tried to tell himself, but his hands wouldn’t stop trembling.

It didn’t feel like just a fucking dream to them.

* * *

Minutes later, there was a soft knock on Ace’s door that startled him, and he shook away the tears that had threatened to come. Frowning, he called softly, “Come in.”

His door slowly swung open with a creak, and he gaped in shock as a pair of emerald eyes peeked through the crack. They were red-rimmed and sleep deprived, and even in the gentle light of his bedside lamp Ace could tell that Sabo had been sobbing for hours. Alarm gripped him, pushing the disturbance of his nightmare out of his mind as he rushed out of bed towards the blonde. “Sabo!? What… Are you okay!?”

To his credit, Sabo didn’t bother to hide his misery. He simply stepped into the room, closed the door and gazed helplessly at Ace. “No. I haven’t been all night so far.”

“Then why the fuck didn’t you wake me!?” His hand moved to caress the pale cheek, and somehow that action made Sabo’s lip tremble even harder. “You look awful… Shit, what happened…?”

He watched as the blonde opened his mouth to try to speak. Multiple times he tried, and all that came out was tiny, weak sobs. Ace’s heart broke seeing someone who was usually so strong desperately struggling to hold in his tears. Whatever had happened, it had shaken Sabo to the point where he couldn’t do anything aside from feel. He pulled the blonde into his arms, placing soft kisses on his hair as that thin body shook like a leaf in his grasp. “Hey… It’s okay, I’m here.”

”Thank god you’re here!” he finally hiccuped, making Ace wonder exactly what that was supposed to mean. But he stayed silent, cooing tender words into his lover’s ear and holding him until his chest had stopped heaving.

After a while Sabo pushed on his shoulders to make him let go, and his eyes ran over every inch of Ace like he was committing the sight to memory. “Fuck… I’m glad it was a dream.”

“A dream? You had a nightmare?” Ace asked incredulously. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he and Sabo had both suffered nightmares on the same night, could it? He pinched at the bridge of his nose, reminded of what his dream had been like. “Ugh. So did I.”

“What? Well, what happened?” Sabo sounded as surprised as he felt.

He didn’t really want to talk about it. The pain was still too raw, too intense. But he relented a little, seeing as Sabo was giving him the most intent of stares. “I, er… Basically I died protecting Luffy,” he said with a shaky exhale. “It was terrible. I was being my stupid, reckless hothead self and I got him dragged into the line of fire. So I…”

“You were punched through the chest,” Sabo said hollowly. Ace blinked up at him.

“Y-yeah…”

“You blocked the attack that was meant for him, and you died there.”

Ace noted the audible shaking in his voice, and he frowned at him. “Yes, but… how did you…?”

Sabo wrung his hands together, laughing mirthlessly. “Ah, well… News travels fast.”

Ace shook his head, his mind so utterly confused that he almost asked if he were still dreaming or something. Did the blonde share his dream? He supposed it was possible, but he had no clue how that was supposed to work. And besides, Sabo had been miserable way longer than Ace. He had obviously been crying for hours already, while Ace had just woken up. He couldn’t possibly know…

“O-kay… So this is weird,” he muttered, rubbing self-consciously at the back of his head. He really didn’t want to think about how agonizing it must have felt to see the one you love with a huge, gaping hole shoved through his chest. He sighed, glancing up and frowning as the blonde chewed unmercifully on his lip. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine what I would have done if I had seen something like that.”

But Sabo shook his head. “I didn’t see it.”

Now he was royally confused. Ace narrowed his gaze, as he usually did when trying to figure out abstract and complex problems. “Then… how did you know that’s what happened?” He cocked his head, looking exhausted. “Are you telepathic? Are my thoughts at risk of no longer being private?”

Against his will, Sabo let out a wobbly laugh. “No, but that would be your first guess, wouldn’t it?”

Ace rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

Sighing, Sabo rubbed at his own eyes, which were probably both dry and sore from the night’s events. “My dream - my nightmare - was about your death. I didn’t know of it until I read an article about you in the newspaper, and that had happened much later.”

The choking feeling in Ace’s throat intensified. That was how he found out? He read about Ace in a fucking paper!? His guilt swamped every other feeling as he reached out for Sabo’s waist. The blonde let himself be pulled close as he moved to bury his face in the crook of Ace’s neck.

“Apparently I was suffering from amnesia in the dream. I had forgotten about you and Luffy, and was going about my life just fine. Then that newspaper landed on my desk, and… a-and I…”

Ace’s arms tightened around him. “Sabo…”

“It was so much pain, too much misery. I couldn’t breathe, I was wailing so much. It felt as though my heart had been torn straight out of my chest.” Ace frowned worriedly as he felt more wetness along the skin of his neck. “I hadn’t been there to rescue you. All of the power and status in the world at my fingertips and I still couldn’t do a thing! I’d forgotten your existence, and because of that we could never meet again! I was heartbroken, swallowed by grief. And although my memories returned with the viewing of that article, the pure misery of the circumstances put me into a coma for three days.”

Sabo pulled away just enough to stare down at him, sniffling as he rubbed his eyes quickly on his sleeve. “I woke up right as I blacked out in the dream. For so long I was afraid to get up. I-I didn’t know if I would find you in bed. I was so, so scared… Ace, it felt so real.”

His eyes pierced into silver ones, their pleading misery stabbing into him with relentless force. “Why did it feel like that? Why do I have to see that same scene again and again, over and over? It’s driving me crazy…”

Ace wished he had the answers. He didn’t understand why he had dreamed about sacrificing himself for Luffy, and he understood even less about how Sabo had had a corresponding dream related to his. All he did know was that every once in a while, this nightmare took hold, and every time it did, it seemed to reopen some old wound for the both of them.

Yeah, Sabo had had recurring nightmares like this too. He hadn’t come to see Ace about them until now, but he had known regardless. Every morning after the blonde would look a bit more haggard, and a little less cheerful. It took him a while to get that back. At least now Ace knew why he stuck so close to him after the nightmares. Sabo was terrified that something might happen to make his dream a reality. If he let Ace out of his sight for even the slightest moment, he was afraid that he might pick up a newspaper somewhere and Ace’s face would end up on the front page.

Setting his jaw, Ace leaned up to kiss those still shaky lips. “Listen to me. These are just dreams. They can’t hurt you or me. We’ll get over it again, we always do.”

“But…”

“I’m doing everything I can to make sure that bad stuff won’t happen.” He smiled, feeling reassured by the slightly less panicked glow in those eyes. “You and I aren’t separated like we were in those nightmares. There isn’t leagues of water keeping me from you. We’re together, you hear me? _Together_. And as long as we’re together, we can overcome anything. You, me, and Luffy.”

His words seemed to calm Sabo, which was exactly what he had hoped. After a few seconds those green orbs glanced coyly away, his tentative smile serving to warm up the chilly atmosphere in the room. “Ace? Let me sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course.” He beamed at the blonde, giving him another loving kiss before leading him by the hand to his bed. “Right or left side?”

And Sabo finally gave him a blinding smile in return. “Whichever side lets me snuggle you better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> You can find me at my main blog [@refraingirl](https://refraingirl.tumblr.com/) or at my writing blog [@refraingirl-the-writer](https://refraingirl-the-writer.tumblr.com/)!


	2. Nightmares, Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In one universe, there was relief. Solace that it was all just a dream. While in another, there could be no such thing.

Sabo slowly blinked his eyes open, sighing into the darkness. Another of those curious dreams had taken him in, and the surprising gentleness of this one made his heart ache for it to be true. _Please,_ he thought as he licked at chapped lips, _show me that this is the dream. That Ace isn’t…_

It went without saying that ever since the blonde had heard of the events that transpired at Marineford he’d been a mental wreck, though he never showed it on the outside. Koala and the other Revolutionaries looked up to him, came to him with requests and questions. Room for grief was nonexistent, and Sabo understood that being the Chief of Staff was a position that required a great deal of attention and care on his part. Endless responsibilities piled on his shoulders, many unable to be shifted to anyone else’s. He was an important man within their group, thus Dragon could not afford to lose him for longer than a few hours. With no small amount of effort, he had managed to shove his miseries to the side so that he could focus on what was happening today.

Yet that didn’t stop his nights, which were supposed to be one of few instances where he could find peace in his busy schedule, from becoming sullied by the overwhelming tragedy of his brother’s demise.

Peace. It truly did seem a foreign word as he lay there in bed, dreading sleep but unable to avoid it completely. He suffered from constant visions of his brother, images that he could not seem to banish from his mind. Ace’s lifeless stare followed him at all hours, the sight of dried blood droplets spattered across cold, unfeeling stone stabbed at him with no remorse. Death, accompanied by Luffy’s sobbing wails, haunted him in every quiet moment. If an escape from the torment had existed, Sabo would have long since taken advantage of it by now.

Then there were times like tonight, when a sip of coffee spilled over his lips as Ace came up from behind to surprise-hug him. Or perhaps he would simply kiss his neck, say some cheesy line that made Sabo roll his eyes. Weirdly happy images flooded him, forming desires that clenched at his heart and refused to let go. They seemed warm, fond, almost like memories. But he knew that couldn’t be the case, not when Ace was dead. He had just visited the gravesite a few weeks hence, sat before it and renewed their bond while hot tears burned at his eyelids. His brother wasn’t coming back, and Sabo was resigned to that fact now. He knew there was nothing to be done, nothing for it but to carry on with his life.

He wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or pained that tonight’s dream had been so… utterly blissful.

“I need some air,” he muttered shakily, nudging aside the covers and wandering out to the balcony. The view of ocean waves lapping gently against the hulls of their ships eased his stress a little, and he leaned both arms on the railing to get a better look.

“Sabo-kun…? Why are you up this late?”

He winced at the sound of the voice, hiding his reaction as soon as Koala’s face popped around his shoulder. “No reason, I just thought that my room was a bit stuffy.”

“Yeah? Is that all it is?” she probed, cocking an eyebrow.

No, but he didn’t want to talk about it. “That’s all it is,” he reassured, giving a smile for good measure.

Of course, the girl was too perceptive for her own good. She was staring at him, wearing one of the more worried looks that she reserved specifically for getting her way and pouting her trembling lips until he had no choice but to cave. Still, this was better than being strong-armed into revealing his problems. His friend was no pushover. In fact, she had more than once given him lumps and bruises that had lasted for weeks.

Frowning, he leaned his chin on folded arms that were resting on the railing. “Ugh. Don’t you have somewhere to be right now, Koala?”

“Nope. I’ve got all the time in the world for you, Sabo-kun.” She smiled down at him before moving to lean her hips against the sturdy metal rails, crossing her arms. “Quit trying to shoo me away and explain what’s bugging you. I can tell you’re upset, you know.”

One end of his mouth tilted up in a half-hearted smile. “You’re the only one who can see through my ruse. Why is that?”

”Who knows?” she said with a shrug. “Maybe I’m just the smartest person here, since you aren’t exactly being sneaky about covering up your feelings.”

“I thought I was,” he grumbled, frowning deeper as Koala giggled.

“Well, I’m here to let you know that you need more practice if you want to fool me.”

Rolling his eyes, he snorted. “You would probably just beat the answers out of me, even if I did improve.”

Pursing her lips into a thoughtful frown, Koala clubbed lightly at his head. “That may be true, but you don’t need to make me sound like such a brute! Take it back right now!”

Sabo grimaced, rubbing at his sore skull. Even a soft hit from her was enough to give him a headache. “Okay fine, fine. You aren’t a brute, even though you sure can beat the hell out of me like one, and to be clear… I never called you that in the first place.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you suck at apologies? I have no idea why the women in our group think you’re so gentlemanly and handsome. I just don’t see it.” Hearing that made Sabo roll his eyes, though he failed to notice the blush that had briefly appeared on his friend’s cheeks. “If they fell victim to your true personality every day, I just know they would change their tune. You should consider yourself lucky that I tolerate you the way I do, Sabo-kun.”

“Right. So now that we’ve both complimented each other, as per custom,” he replied in a sarcastically dry tone, “can you please leave me alone?”

It was a bit of a long shot, so he’d predicted that Koala would refuse his demand. “No way! Now, out with it. Let me hear what’s on your mind.”

There was a long pause between them, disturbed only by the barest sea breeze rustling their clothes.

“It’s about Ace, isn’t that right?”

She had asked gently, although the look on her face told him that she already knew the answer to the question. He frowned up into her patient eyes before turning away, chewing on his bottom lip. It was downright spooky how she could unearth the truth without even needing him to speak. Maybe he was easy to read after all.

“Yeah,” he sighed, leaning his forehead on his arms to hide the telling blush covering his cheeks. “Another dream about Ace.”

“You must really love your brother to have so many dreams about him, and so often too,” she remarked, finger to her lips.

“Love?” Sabo glanced to the side, struggling with a strange hitch that had taken up residence in his lungs. “Of course I l-love Ace… but mostly the dreams involve trauma, the likes of which drown out any pleasantness I would feel at seeing him again…”

Hesitantly, she inquired further, “What was this one about?”

Koala was probably expecting another of his tales of woe, about seeing Ace’s corpse lying bloodied and still on the ground. Those were the most frequent, and he had told her so many versions of the same grisly end that he was sure there was nothing else he could broach on the subject that would surprise her. But, as agonizing as those conversations had been, somehow there was more difficulty involved with talking about the more calming dreams. Putting into words how it had felt to have strong arms around his waist, hugging him close, their muscles firm and supportive…

It just made the blonde want Ace in more ways than he could have ever imagined.

_And I never will have that. Not in this lifetime._

Wetting his lips with his tongue, Sabo fought to steady his uneven breathing. “It… wasn’t exactly a good dream,” he said slowly, avoiding her interested gaze by blinking down at his boots, “but it wasn’t much of a nightmare, either. It almost seemed like there was another world, a more peaceful and content place where the three of us didn’t have to worry about marines or pirates or how large our bounties became… Luffy, Ace and I, we all lived together and we… we were…”

He sniffled slightly, but managed to hold in the tears. “I was so happy,” he whispered.

A quiet rustling sound reached his ears before he felt Koala’s arms slipping around his shoulders in a hug. She squeezed him, but the action was done with a gentleness that was quite unusual for the girl to display. “It really was a good dream then,” she said with a warm smile.

The blonde let out a huff, straightening up to stare into the clouds hovering above their heads. “How can that be? How can seeing all of those wonderful moments unfolding be anything short of torture?”

”Isn’t it better than seeing him lying on a battlefield coated with bodies and the stench of death?”

“No, it’s not,” he ground out. Gripping hard at the railing, he gritted his teeth. “At least in those instances I can see the truth, and accept it no matter how painful it is for me. But… having Ace hug me, and whisper into my ear and… and kiss me…”

Koala’s eyes widened, but he was too distraught to notice or care. He squeezed his eyes shut, running a trembling hand down his flaming face. “Every night when I have the chance to feel what could have been, it makes me want that love so badly. I wish beyond hope that he was alive so that I could experience it for real. The more I see him with me, smiling like I’m his whole world, it only makes this miserable emotion grow. And I don’t want it to, Koala… My heart swells with affection and it makes waking up seem like I’ve been thrown back into hell. I’ll never hear the sound of his voice except in my sleep, and I will not let myself succumb to that kind of hopelessness.”

A laugh escaped him, pitiful and small. “The worst part is that I know this well, and yet I still desire it! Everything inside me yearns for the impossible, and it’s more than I can bear! It may be even worse than knowing that Ace is dead…”

His head hanging, Sabo used a hand to tug his glove off and Koala reached out to grab it before it could hit the floor or possibly sail over the rail to be lost forever. The blonde wasn’t paying much heed to where it went, and soon her eyes caught the flicker of a brief spark beside her. Turning, she watched through the silence as he flexed his palm, igniting a small plume of orange fire in the center. It shimmered in the darkness, waving to and fro with the wind’s guidance. Almost like it was swaying to music that neither of them could hear.

Sabo’s emerald eyes never once shifted away from the flame. “This is all I have of him now,” he murmured, reverence haunting his tone. “The heat of a fire that once burned bright, flowing through my veins. It’s strangely consoling on most days, but it will never replace the boy I knew… the man I loved.” His mouth drew into a tight line. “And still love.”

When he finally did look back up, Koala’s eyes were shimmering in the soft glow of the fire. Her mouth wobbled as she tried to smile. “There isn’t room for anyone else, is there?”

He blinked, not quite understanding. “What do you mean?”

“Your heart. It’s too full for me to have any place in it.”

He stared at her, mouth working as he tried to comprehend what she had just said. The crimson in his hand snuffed itself out instantly. “I… Why would you say that…?”

She sighed tiredly, the poor attempt of a smile vanishing as swiftly as it had come. “You aren’t the only person longing for something that is never meant to be, Sabo-kun. There are boys, girls, men, women and countless others who have gone through the same thing you’re going through. The difference is that all they have are memories. You should consider yourself lucky that you were able to claim Ace’s Flare-Flare Fruit for yourself. He was fire, remember? Now so are you.”

Without another word, she turned and walked away. Her steps were uneven, her pace suggesting that she had nowhere to be and no hurry to get there. Her hand stuck out to steady her as she rounded the corner, and disappeared into the shadows of the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watching the Marineford bit just made me sad. I was literally tearing up when Luffy sat there, helpless, watching his big brother sacrifice himself for his sake. All of it was just so depressing for me, especially since I love Ace and Sabo. Watching Sabo react to Ace's death was heartrending too... But it did motivate me to write this fic. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Come and say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> You can find me at my main blog [@refraingirl](https://refraingirl.tumblr.com/) or at my writing blog [@refraingirl-the-writer](https://refraingirl-the-writer.tumblr.com/)!


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